Just some stuff I wanted to put down, for myself really and I am very aware that this may mean nothing to everyone, but guilt at not posting anything for a long time has driven me to this action.
All the characters I play are never extremely removed from my own personality and of course are intrinsically linked to my interests at the time. I think that almost all roleplayers have at least a fairly significant aspect of themselves, their personality and experiences in the characters they portray. Of course, a character’s thought processes are directly linked to their roleplayer, and a roleplayer who can overwrite their own thought processes and think like the character they have created is one of the signs of a good actor. However it is worth noting that it is actually quite easy to make your character perform differently or even in an opposite manner to yourself in many situations encountered in many roleplays. For example, I would piss myself in the presence of a demon if such a thing existed, and I have seen some moderately fucked stuff in my life, but it is easy for you to say “I attack the daemon as soon as I see it”.
So a very good rolepayer has to be fully invested in not only an alternate reality, but also an alternate persona interacting with this world, constantly asking themselves how this character would do so.
Characters and Me
It is important to note two things about the differences in circumstance between me and my characters.
1. Things such as gods, daemons, magic are real in their respective universes and are defined (sometimes poorly, but I digress) by the lore of the universe.
2. The characters themselves are often in highly adverse situations where they face direct violence, extreme injustice and insanely terrifying prospects daily. They have to fight to survive, so it is no wonder they resort to violence themselves or reach philosophically unsound conclusions in order to deal with the world they find themselves in.
Gnurg’s tend to exist within the fictional institutes of disorder or chaos (not just Chaos) or at the very least they exist within a society or state of order to spread chaos. Iago Gnurg is like me in that he began life in a highly statist society, surrounded by dogma, religion and institutionalised violence and decided to remove himself from this (at least to a degree in my case).
Iago differs to me in several ways. Firstly, he thinks that although often ugly and wasteful, violence is a means to an ends. He also believes that by violently removing and obliterating the state (in his case the Imperium) and replacing it with a ‘new order’ either in the form of a democracy in the Rousseauian sense, or by just breaking the bonds of the state and simply allowing all parts of the Imperium, and in extension the human controlled galaxy, to govern themselves independently.
Iago is naïve and perhaps he just wants to see the brutally totalitarian Imperium destroyed in the hope that something better will fill the vacuum created by its demise. He does express a fairly high degree of self-knowledge and forethought by saying “If our bloody lives achieve anything then let it be simply a few inches of ground towards a future of freedom and peace and a warning to the generations that follow us into the fog of war; we are running out of time to establish the future humanity will need to survive, so use any means to succeed.”
There is much Iago Gnurg knows of the Chaos Gods but he misunderstands a fundamental thing. The Chaos Gods might be evil incarnate, or more realistically they may have more horrific aspects to their ‘personalities’ than they have virtues; which ever way it is, Iago thinks they can be used as mankind’s salvation. This will almost certainly not be the case.
Similar to Iago and me, Maelit was born into some mess of a democracy/aristocracy/monarchy. The sentiment of ‘blood is thicker than water’ is probably bandied around more fervently in his society than either Iago’s or my own but there are still many similarities between the governments we exist under. Maelit decides to leave the indoctrination behind, and his good days are my bad days.
Maelit, on his good days, looks at the humans and wonders: “What are you fit for but to be ruled? You mislead, abuse, extort and murder one another. You worship shit. Maybe you deserve what you get.”
On his bad days, he emerges through the rage and frustration that plagues him to what seems to him, a perfectly clear, truly egalitarian solution…
“Human kind is a disease, I will kill you all, every one of you, granting you release from your useless life. You all must die for death to cease, that is the price of peace. Oh, and if you were wondering what I would do if I was the last being alive? I will end myself knowing my work is done.”
Abdul Dolon “Lon”
Lon is a fairly simple man and probably has the least in common with me out of the three characters written about here, even though he has many ideas identical to mine, especially from the peak of my interest in entropy three years ago. He takes comfort in entropy, he believes all people are equal and values the truth. Where Lon differs is that he prefers to be a bystander to events. He does not seek to change anyone’s opinion or bring the truth to the ignorant. He is merely happy to observe.